Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Spurtle-ing? part deux...

                                                  "Dunno what she's looking so happy about..."

My PDA is playing funny buggers so I haven't been able to respond yet...Right where was I? (Is this going to work posting like this because I have no time at all to sit in front of a PC?) In other news, B had her jabs today and a lecture from a new Health Visitor on weaning during post jab trauma made us late for Baby Sensory. I love Health Visitors (or the idea of them rather), think that they're an invaluable resource and will be sad when the Tories (along with all other useful indulgences that we have grown used to under NuLab) do away with them during the forthcoming cuts. But sometimes you receive conflicting advice from them, especially if one is a young by the book type and the other is an older, I've had forty million kids and it worked for me type.

Of course there isn't an answer per se to my original question but it is something I wonder about and am interested in peoples opinions on, given my daily socialisation and the media articles the age issue generates. While I do understand that in some circumstances that career is a big consideration for waiting (is it waiting?) to have children, that it takes time to consolidate and develop a career, especially in a field like academia, I guess it's my own experiences that make me question the decision to have children later in life.

Based on my own experiences I really don't see or get the assertion that to do one thing (raise children/have a career) you must sacrifice the other, that it really isn't possible to have it all (as the 80's slogan goes). A recent article discussing this really got on my nerves. Written by a man, an older man the headline reads 'Are Babies Wasted on Young Mothers?'. While the author tells us about his love for his mother (now passed), he states (or rather critiques) that because his mother was young and she didn't have a career to focus on she misguidedly channelled the energy that she would've been better using up on a career like the women he so admires on raising her children. This energy apparently made her an anxious parent, fearful of the what ifs, the bogeymen, the childhood illnesses and bumps and so made him an anxious child. This he blames on her lack of ambition and consequently lack of career... more about this later.  

The women I speak to say that they couldn't take time out to have children whilst advancing their career at the same time yet the women have spent such a long time doing this and presumably have become used to the financial benefits of said career that when they get around to having the kids, they then go back to work the minute their statutory maternity leave is up. So really are women waiting until they can afford for someone else to help in the process of raising kids whilst they work at the same time? I don't get it....

Did you wait? Are you an 'older' mum? Or did you have kids young? Waddayathink?


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