Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Being told off...

I've just read a post over at BabyRambles that I completely identify with.

Now I don't know about you but I get told off by the various adults and children in my life on a regular basis. Even though I am advancing in my years I still get told off by my mother, by Oh Daddy, by A and I suspect, very soon Miss B. I also get old off by A's school, by B's activity leaders and by just about anyone.

The mothers I mix with on a regular basis are older than me and I tried to imagine anyone of them being told off and I couldn't. Is it because these women are seen as older women so people wouldn't dare speak to them in such a manner? Is it because I am younger? No, I have come to the conclusion that it's my guilty expression. And I suspect that they might get a telling off once in a while, just perhaps in a different method to myself. As the eldest child, I was regularly the fall guy for my younger and wilier sister who needed to be constantly rescued from mischief and who seemed to take great pleasure in getting her big sister into trouble. So my default position is one of guilt. I automatically think I have done something wrong!

I remember one incident when we went to visit our Nana. She had just had her bathroom redecorated and I took my little sister to use the toilet. I sat outside for ages and started to hammer on the door and shout in the usual elder sibling irritated tone, for her to hurry up. When she eventually emerged from the bathroom, I asked her what had taken her so long to which she replied "well...duh!" and ran down the stairs. I followed her and went about my business. Later on during the visit my mother called me up the stairs to the bathroom, took me inside and demanded to know why I had done THIS (stage direction: my mother, very red in the face pointing to the wall above the toilet roll holder). The THIS that she was referring to was MY name carved into the wall! The offending weapon was lying on the floor, a par of metal tweezers. Flabbergasted I tried to tell her that I it wasn't me and that really did she think that I was stupid enough to scratch my own name on the wall and demanded that she carry out a forensic investigation to match up the handwriting. These requests only inflamed the situation and the child from the Omen appeared behind the legs of our mother smiling...

You would think that as an adult you move past being told off and feeling very small and child-like but no. I used to be a very punctual person. I lost it temporarily when I had A but regained it quite quickly once I had gotten to grips with life with a baby. Again with the advent of Miss B, my punctuality has disappeared but at a year, I seem to have lost it completely. I hate being late and my friends know that I can't stand people being late, I get jittery, snap and shout at people so I completely understand when I get a row for being late. I still feel like a small child when I've been scolded though.

I've been five minutes late for a doctors appointment and had to endure the ice-cold stares of the reception staff who make you wait to see if the incredibly busy and overworked GP can fit us in. I slope off to the corner of the waiting room and hang my head in shame.

We've been late for school numerous times and again I hang my head as A does the walk of shame along the school corridor to class. Or forgetting that today was the day that something was happening. The something they had told us about three months previously and I had chosen that day not to look in my diary.

Things like this make me feel especially bad but the maddening ones are the things I automatically take the blame for only to then realise that, as we say here "it wisnae me!". A few weeks ago, I attended one of Miss B's activity groups and near the very end the entire class of 30 received a telling off as some people hadn't been clear about their attendance and had paid their fees. Instantly my eyes dropped to the floor, I did my shame filled shuffle and slopped off to the corner with B to play with the toys. It wasn't until we had left the class that I realised that I had filled in all the appropriate paperwork and paid my fees up until the end of term!


What about you?


  1. I find myself apologising all the time.
    Can't I be me rather than just the not quite good enough one?
    So I empathise.
    And you remind me to take it easier on my eldest child too so thanks for posting

  2. I feel reprimanded easily. And I hate being told off, because it makes me a dependent child again instantly.
    If I feel hard done by, I can get quite in a huff about it too...

  3. hooray - you back.
    I know the feeling. However, I have recently developed finger wagging when I'm telling my son off - I wish I could stop it but I can't!

  4. @Mumstheword: Ha ha, yes the eldest siblings often get it in the neck for no good reason. My little sister was a very special type of little bugger though!

    I hate apologising too but it seems to be my default position. x

  5. @Cartside: You do instantly feel like a small child again and it's terrible. x

  6. @Gemma: Huzzah, I'm back but am overrun with poorly bebes so typing with one hand and soothing with the other. Ready for Santa? x

  7. I am so pleased to hear I'm not the only person who still gets told off like a child!


  8. The kids are back to school/activities on Tuesday. Am preparing for being in the doghouse once again. xx


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