Thursday, 26 May 2011

Things I have said to my offspring recently...

This is not an original idea but a third hand idea. I stole it from Rosie at Rosie Scribbles who stole it from NotsoSupermum.

I vaguely remember doing something like this before here and here so do check these out for a real flavour of my general incompetence as a parent. I've always like to share so because we've had a particularly action packed and fun filled few weeks, I have plenty to add to this:

Stop licking the television. (B not A! I had just cleaned it after all)

Please stop wiping your bogies on me! (B has discovered things come out if you stick your finger up your nose during a cold.)

No love, that's a piece of fluff not a pubic hair. (Having completed Sex ed, A is now on pube watch)

Please get off of my head. (B trying to get comfortable for storytime.)

Stop telling everyone we have had rats! It was just a little mouse! (A at school.)

I've no idea how that homeless woman became pregnant. You don't necessarily need to have a house to have sex...bugger! Forget I said that! Do you want to go to Costa for a hot chocolate? How about a muffin too? (More sex ed fallout!)

Yes...bye bye poo bag. (B still likes to wave farewell to her nappy bag of poo.)

Come and smell your sister's bum, I think she might have done a poo. Because I can't bend down today and need confirmation. Thanks buddy! (Bad Mum moment #39834598!)

I have no idea why that man is peeing in the street. No you can't pee too! (The joys of city living.)

I'm still peeing, don't open the door! No, it doesn't take me a long time because I'm old! (A has no patience or tact.)


  1. A little bit of tea shot from my nose reading this as snorted with laughter. Can SO relate to these statements... Can I be an honorary bad mommy too hehe?

    First time to your blog and looking forward to reading more :)

  2. That made me actually belly laugh! Love it x

  3. What a brilliant idea and funny too. Yep definitely relate the one about rats and bogies.

  4. Thanks guys. We're all just the teeniest bit mental in this house.

    Thanks for commenting! xx

  5. So funny. Not had all the sex questions but often have to tell my son not to put his finger up his nose lol. I think its a comfort thing lol

    1. Lol, yes it could be or it could just be that they are a dirty species!


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