Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Uh oh! And so it begins...

My eleven year old son who happens to be autistic has just finished a course in sex education at school. Now I've tried to be supportive and answer any questions he might have had and have looked into how to approach this sort of thing when you have a kid on the spectrum. I could've let his Dad handle this but decided to wade in myself to see what happened.

Two things have happened since, all of which are great but they are testing me! One of them is whilst on the way to have dinner he approached me and squeezed my arm. After the squeeze he said "I love you Mum and I love the way I can talk to you about anything. We are really close and none of friends have this sort of relationship with their Mums." I tried my hardest not to cry into my Thai tom yum chicken afterwards. I was first and foremost proud of how he had articulated himself and just a little bit pleased at having succeeded so far at fostering this dynamic. I fully expect things to be very different in a few years time when he wants to have something pierced and paint his room black!

The other is that given the nature of our relationship he felt he could come to me with the news that he has a crush on a girl in his class. Wobble wobble. If anyone asked me whether I wanted a relationship where my child shared everything with me or one where they withheld everything, of course I would pick the former. It still doesn't make revelations like this any easier to hear! I swallowed my discomfort while he told me that his classroom had been moved around and that his teacher had put the girl in the seat next to him. I asked if this was making him nervous or uncomfortable but he said he was fine with it.

While we were having dinner last night, his mobile phone kept ringing. When I asked who it was he said it was a few girls in his class pretending to be this girl he likes to play a joke on him!

Uh oh...and so it begins!

The Tweens are here!


  1. Yes, it's here! My daughter, Amy, is eleven and autistic and she sounds very similar to your boy. She's actually becoming quite obsessed with sex ed and it's driving me nuts!! We have to be calm and remember that she "repeats" everything but she's doing really well so far. I think schools are handling the sex ed lessons a lot better than they did when I was in school.

    CJ xx

  2. I think that is really lovely that you two are able to connect like that. I am thinking that when your son is much older and he is not sure if he should talk to you about something important, he may recall this current experience and know you're the person to go to.

  3. It seems a long time since I had "the talk" with my elder two (the Gruesome Twosome as I affectionately call them). Good luck with the teenage years, they do eventually wear you down on the piercing you know? Ah well, don't sweat the small stuff eh? Seems like your young man has handled his sex ed class well xx

  4. @CJ: I agree, I think the schools do handle it better these days. But now he is now obsessed with it so trying to counter with a few ASD strategies.
    He asked what a paedophile was yesterday!



  5. @Gemma: Really? Thanks. I would love to think that things will stay like this in years to come. Thanks for commenting! xx

  6. @Petunia: Thanks! I remember that phase well, running off and hiding piercings from my folks. Thanks for commenting. xx


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