Friday, 6 May 2011

Why I bother to blog....

Every once in a while my fellow bloggers put up these posts. A post that rationalises the existence of your blog and why you type up significant pieces of information about your lives for the consumption of strangers.

Blogging is a strange phenomenon and it's hard to understand why anyone would want to do it. The meaning of blogging or an individual blog can be hard to understand and most people don't understand blogging. Emily O over at the wonderful BabyRambles discusses this far more succinctly than I could. Blogging is a very individualistic activity. For me it is a bit of a solitary activity. I do it late at night when I need to work through an issue or need advice or simply because I want to write about something given that now I spend my entire day with small people.

Everyone blogs for different reasons. You have your polished Parenting blogs, full of product reviews and anecdotes about the art of child rearing. You have the parents of children with additional needs blogging, detailing the stresses and strains of life with kids who do not follow the rules. You have academics blogging, informally publishing thoughts on their latest work or working through theories with the input of their peer group. You have the Foodie Bloggers, posting their delectable treats and sometimes a kitchen mishap thrown in for good measure. There are thousands of individualised genres of bloggers out there, these are just a taste of the types that I follow predominantly. Sometimes, just sometimes, someone out there publishes a self reflective piece.

On reflection (...cough) these reflective posts are what my blog is about. I'm either too busy or frankly too knackered (ask Oh Daddy if we've ever had a conversation past 10pm where I haven't fallen asleep but then that could be down to him) to blog about the little things. I've tried but then I end up with about a dozen or so unfinished posts and sometimes wonder to myself if anyone gives a shit whether B tried to put her own clothes on today or that A has perfected burping on demand? I find them fascinating, that doesn't mean that everyone else does. B's at the stage since birth where every day something new occurs and I know that in the past I've become tired of blogs that list every single little thing that someone else's baby does. These are the little things that enrich our lives but can be very dull on paper.

So I conclude the that my blog is a space for sharing my interests ( very boring) but mainly my moans! This doesn't mean I'm unhappy but my life is complicated, involving complicated people. I think I need to rebrand this blog entirely into something along the lines of Oh FFS Mammy! I feel incredibly guilty that in my header I promise you musings on the awesome world of Classics, parenting, food and instead you get barrage of posts on the theme of what I having for my tea this week and who has managed to piss me off this week, along with my OCD inspired lists! I'm quite a passionate person (read: angry) and I do get heat up over things easily but in my mind I am never unjustified. I'm not bitter about the hand I've been dealt but I get frustrated and that makes my posts a bit volatile at times.

I have a whole spectrum of readers from complete strangers who pop in one in a while, to regulars who comment and know me a bit more, to real life friends who keep up with what's going on through this to colleagues past and present. One thing I've realised when thinking about this group of people, is that my blog posts on ASD make people uncomfortable. There is a tinge of sadness to some of them but then I'm reflecting and working through through live on the tinterwebs for all and sundry to read. I don't read a lot of blogs that talk about ASD either and the ones that I do, their kids differ from A in ability, age and needs so I don't have many followers who can relate to this subject. I would like to blog about A's achievements, how A coped with an event but I find that these posts, when you have no connection to a child are quite empty posts. As a parent blogger, I am blogging about my experiences raising a child with ASD and how it can be at times, incredibly hard. For parents all over the world of NT kids and not, this should be something to relate to. I'm quite an active Facebook user, I use my mobile constantly and post either inane comments or share things that are either fascinating to me or are a bit controversial and so I get a fair few comments, likes in a day. A few weeks ago on my personal page, I took part in a virtual march run by several autism campaigners. The point of this was to simply raise awareness for ASD in the run up to World Autism Awareness Day on the 2nd of April. Now on any given day, I can post up a link to a piece in the Telegraph or in the Guardian and I'm guaranteed at least 10 comments from around 10 people who share varying opinions on topics connected to my interests and this blog. In the run up to WAAD my page experienced a deathly silence. I wrote please read and 'like' to show that you've at least paid the smallest amount of attention to my posts and so my campaigning is done. That I've made you think for a split second about autism and provided posts and links if they wanted a more in depth knowledge about the disability. None of my regular commentators appeared. Very few of my posts were liked or acknowledged at all. Yet, when I put up some stuff about Mother's Day on the Sunday they were all back. So why bother?

Because it keeps me sane. Sort of...


  1. I know exactly what you mean. I always get support when I blog about Amy and her needs but a lot of people can be quite ignorant to the fact that my child is not your average 11 year old, even though they read and comment on my blog regularly and know Amy well. I had one such comment yesterday which actually pissed me off somewhat. They have been commenting on my blog for a while now and have always given short and rather arrogant comments which I tend to ignore, but yesterday's was more or less telling me to "move on" and ignore the fact that my special needs child is being treated like she's stupid and is in fact, perhaps albeit mildly, bullied. I nearly deleted the comment but thought I'd leave it there for others to see how ignorant some people really are. I suspect this person knows nothing about special needs children and has no intention of finding out.

    Btw, I blogged about autism today after raising £200 through book sales. I doubt I'll get much reponse though.

    CJ xx

  2. It is very strange what posts people to post on. I often have posts that I blog my guts out and gte literally nothing back but I take heart that if one of those readers was comforted or pushed into questionning something or took some action etc then it was worthwhile. We know not God's plans and just have to trust.

    I love blogging, it really enriches my life.

    Have not visited for ages and wanted to say hi. Mich x

  3. I think blogging can be frustrating because sometimes you want to reach out there with a post and there seems to be little response. At other times a small, meaningless post gets a lot of response. It's very unpredictable. I think the time and day you post on can influence that too and I've no idea how you get round that one without doing some really in-depth analysis! It's fascinating to read about why you blog and we all have different approaches which is what makes it so interesting. Thanks for the link to my post.

  4. I've just hopped across from Emily's post and read this. Odd as I am fascinated by ASD and how it is day-to-day (I worked with kids briefly and had a special interest in sensory processing), but I know I am not reading many parenting blogs whatsoever atm! The subject of happy blissed out mommies (I know, I'm being ironical!) makes me far more uncomfortable than ASD talk.

    Is your blog linked to any ASD hubs?

  5. @CJ: I love to read your blog and think that you post just enough information about Amy. It is frustrating though when you appeal directly and it falls on deaf ears.


  6. @Mich: I haven't been by your blog for a while either! I hope the twins are well and thanks for the message. xx

  7. @Emily: you're right (as usual) and if I bothered to pimp my blog it might get more attention. I just don;t have the time. xx

  8. @Stinky: Ace name! I think I'm subscribes to one Ping community and the group on BMB but that's it. Do you have any suggestions? xx


Thanks for taking the time to comment!