Saturday, 3 December 2011

The Struggle for Independence.

No, don't worry I am not about to start spouting Nationalist sentiments and justifying Big 'Eck's demented vision for Scotland's future...

I've been reading. Researching the Terrible Two's to arm myself with information of our impending developmental stage. I've not been reading Skinner's behaviour theory (I've read it before), but I have been looking through forums and medical pages, looking for some insight into this precious stage. To survive a zombie apocalypse, you must be armed with knowledge and weapons and the ability to think whilst running from a building. I am taking the same approach to the Terrible Two's... 
A recent article in the Australian Telegraph informs us that our children, if we put them into childcare, will exhibit the Terrible Two's to a bigger degree than a child at home. Given that I have just started B at playgroup, this makes my knees knock!

Aparently, the Terrible Two's happen because as a parent, I will have failed to meet my child's growing need for independence. From the very moment that she started to walk, Miss B began a struggle; the struggle for autonomy. This provides an explanation for toddler tantrums and all related fiendish behaviour. Their own frustrating incompetence drives them over the edge and lead them to explode in a tantrum. My duty as her mother is to pre-empt negative outcomes from my child's exploration and learning while maximizing the opportunity for positive outcomes.

While this is all very true and I'm always the first to reach for professional advice but to read about the TT's in such terms, I cannot help but laugh. Perhaps it's a nervous laughter? I can laugh now but follow my posts over the next year and please, remind me that I thought this was hilarious! Remind me after walking out of Sainsbury's without any shopping because Queenie Bee has thrown a wobbler in the sweetie aisle.
Here's some of the titbits that I've found so far:

'Most children over the age of one year become quite negative'.- What a bad press for the little people!

'By this stage of life, if you haven't already baby-proofed the home, do so.' - I'm going to show my rage by sticking my finger in this plug socket! 

'Self-esteem grows the more the child gains mastery over their environment and self.' - This image of the Narmer Palette comes to mind. The Egyptian ruler is shown smiting his enemies...

'During the terrible twos, however, children may not truly know their own mind.' - Is it some sort of Government Acid Test?

'Surviving the terrible twos boils down to remembering that children at this age are not logical and rational.' - Yes, I can see that going down well with B in the middle of the supermarket. No, you cannot have this because your choice is neither logical nor rational. 

'Avoid falling into the toddler-trap.' - Beware of secret trenches lined with sharpened stakes and covered with leaves whilst taking your toddler for a walk in the park. 

'Don’t get mad – get better!' - or get even?


  1. Let's wing it xxx

  2. Given the advice on offer, we may have to! Xxx

  3. So needed this. At my wits end with little man approaching 2. He's pinching, hitting and has turned into a monster. I would like my baby back.

  4. We'll just have to survive it together! xx

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