Sunday, 5 February 2012

The opposite of a Silent Sunday - Listography's Top Five Phrases that Annoy me.

*Warning: this post contains a fair amount of ranting. 

I've had a bad week. Scratch that, a bad fortnight. This rarely happens and I try not to dwell on it. Events just spiralled over the last fortnight until I had to take a time out on Friday. I switched off my phone, disconnected the internet and gave a proverbial two fingers to the world and sloped off with the family.

In light of my frustration of the last two weeks, I had to participate in Kate's fantastic Listography theme this week: top five phrases that annoy you. So welcome to my version of this list. Apologies in advance for letting off some steam.

1. "He's not really THAT autistic, is he?"
I am sorry, were you expecting Rain Man? The fact that A does not have to be placed in residential care like Raymond Babbit. The fact that I am not driving him from motel to motel via a casino. The fact that he can make eye contact, somehow, to the lay person means that really I have no cause for mentioning A's autism. I am made to feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill. A is autistic enough to warrant seven years of specialist education. A is autistic enough to have 8 years of speech therapy and music therapy and art therapy. A is autistic enough to warrant constant hospital appointments with specialists. A is disabled, his autism is a disability that affects every aspect of his life. We have worked long and hard to get where we are today, in a mainstream school supported by staff on a one to one basis. Because I refuse to lament his condition to people in real life, because I refuse to feel sorry for myself and for him, I hear this phrase at least once a week.

2. "No offence but..."
By the by people, prefacing your opinion with these words does not excuse you from following it with something really hurtful. I have heard this so many times in relation to A and his traits which can easily be perceived as simply bad behaviour. I have also had this from other people in other contexts too. I chose to live my life a certain way. My life has evolved through a series of events, happenings and meetings and I wouldn't change it for anything. Others disapprove. A friend recently chose to do this by criticising my life choices. Yes, I have kids and I am not married but saying "no offence but I would do things properly" ie. get married first and then have kids, does not make what you said any less hurtful nor dies it make you a true friend.

3. "Funny as."
Funny as...what?! Ending a sentence with a similie or a conjunction is just the biggest crime against literacy ever and all too common in the East Coast of Scotland. "aye but" " that's terrible like". Pah!

4. "Aw. Too cute"

I am a little bit sick in my mouth every time I read this on Facebook. It's just laziness. Economising with words so that they become inane.

5. "Literally..."
This cartoon from the Oatmeal explains why.


  1. Too true- I so agree with your comments, especially 1,2 and 5. Well observed. It would drive me mad too. 

  2. It may not make you feel any better, but my Sunday consisted of spending all day trying to find out why my boiler was making odd noises with a water pressure in the red zone, paying £22 for online support, and then £168 for a plumber to come around and fiddle a few knobs to repair it.....Oh I so wish I was a plumber at times!!

  3. I know where you are coming from with this, my daughter is the same with the grandson cos he looks "normal" and he walks and he talks then he cant be disabled but he is actually quite ill. People say that with foods that say "may contain traces of nuts "  oh just let him have it it only may contain traces - our answer to that if it said may contain traces of cyanide would you give it to your child?? No? I thought not
     people need to live a week in your shoes before they can even begin to offer "useful advise". how many of them would cope juggling all you juggle, doing all you do and seeing all the experts you see and keeping the strict routine you have to keep - I think mothers like you deserve medals but you just cope as each new issue is added to your childs list of needs and it just becomes routine and you think nothing of it as thats what parents do for their kids and for you that is normal.
    keep up the brilliant work - and tell the know it alls to go to hell

  4. Well said. "Too cute" gets me every time. Also so, so as in "I'm so so happy."

    Can I add "random" as well? And "I'm not being funny, but..."?

  5. I agree with all of the above. Especially 1 2 and 5 . My son doesn't look disabled, he can walk and although sometimes difficult to understand can talk. Some of my friends still don't realise how much extra work it is to get him ready and out and keep him safe. Like u we just get on with it. The other thing about having kids and not been married. I've been with my partner for 26 years and we have 4 children. We have never felt the need to get married and have outlived many marriages sometimes 2 or 3 times over! This is our choice and not for anyone else to criticise. As we all know what is 'normal'

  6. I called my uncle to give advance warning of an invite to my upcoming wedding and to let him know he was going to be a great uncle .. met with 'shouldn't you have bloody gotten married first?' He's a dick! He didnt come to my wedding (went to both my brothers) and my kids have never met him... His Loss.  Hope you're ok xx

  7. Oh, I think I've said 'too cute'...just to be friendly.  This Listography was a great one for all parents of kids with special needs to take part in - I was also able to rant away happily :)

  8. Sunday bloody Sundays! Hope Monday was good to you. X

  9. Thanks Elaine! Your comment means so much to me. How we do things is normal for us. It's so hard to draw attention to hs disability in public only to be told that really, he could be more autistic! Your daughter is so lucky to have such a positive role model in her life. Thank you. Xx

  10. Oh Ellen, you're so Random!! Eurgh! Xxx

  11. You've got ball of steel, Jo!Xxx

  12. Do you ever get this comment? Only special people get special children.... Next time someone says that to me I am going to thump them!!! :D

    Good post. Nothing wrong with ranting....

  13. I have indeed! And "you know you're tough that's what you were sent this challenge" eye roll! Xxxx

  14. Ah I can feel your sigh of relief across the Irish Sea. Glad it was well timed for you but wish you hadn't had such a bad couple of weeks. xx

  15. I agree with you, especially for points 1 and 2.  My son looks 'normal', can walk, talk etc and some people don't appreciate how much extra work it takes to get him organised and functioning lol.  With regards people commenting on your marital situation - they should keep their noses out.  Whose business is it except yours and your partners.  My partner and I have been together over 26 years, we have 4 children and have never felt the need to get married.  We have been through good times and bad times and have outlasted many marriages (sometimes 2 or 3 marriages!) 

    I hope you have a better week this week

  16. All good but well done on making points 1 and 2 so powerfully.  People can learn from posts like this


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