Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Ovarian Pangs... What is it like to have three kids?

Is three the magic number? 

Do you have three kids? What is it like...?

Everybody is preggers! Well not everyone but something is clearly in the air and people around me are announcing that they will be expecting the pitter patter of tiny feet in a few months.

My ovaries have noted this and have acted accordingly, punching me repeatedly.

My ovaries have chosen only to remember the new baby euphoria (and smell - not dissimilar to buying a new car) and not the exhaustion, the constant feeding and worry that comes with having new babies. It has been happening quite frequently. Every time I see a baby, something in my gut goes awwwww... I know I'm only having that moment most women will experience when they realise that they will have no more children than they have already. Given that this hormonal/emotional craziness is happening now that Miss B is nearly three and a half years old and declared today during her second session at preschool that I was no longer needed and could go home, I now realise that this must be why other people (more normal people than I) have three year gaps between children!

I must keep myself occupied! I had a five year plan that was derailed by my PND and I'm struggling to get back on track. I'm trying really hard to formulate a new plan and to push myself in that direction but I suppose it's natural to wonder what a slight diversion would do to this plan. Would it derail us completely? Would it make us stationary? What IS with the all the railway metaphors?

From my own experience, I am one of two and I see how our relationship works and doesn't based on this number. OD is one of three and the middle child so probably the wrong person to ask about things coming in threes. Given A's autism we knew that we were taking a gamble having B. This would change if I had any more kids and we would be going through that period of uncertainty again and it was hard enough this time around

People often ask if we're having anymore and I give a nervous laugh. There are few decisions in life that can make even the strongest woman flip-flop like a fish out of water. But ask one if she's totally done having children and, more often than not, you'll get a complicated answer filled with contradiction and confusion.

I suppose rather than running around in circles rationalising things by myself, I'll throw this out to those parents out there with three kids. Is it true? Is three the magic number? 

I should make it clear that I'm not asking for advice on what to do. We've made our decision to have NO MORE KIDS but hormones and general nosiness make me wonder what it would be like. I only know of one other couple who have two kids, the rest have three or more. There must be something in it, I guess. So did you plan three or was your original plan infinite? Was having had enough at three, the decider?